We are probably stonger and more in love now, than anytime in our marriage. We have issues to work through, but are better equiped to do that now. We are getting better at understanding each other. That's not to say we don't have disagreements. They are just not as many.
The biggest thing we disagree on is the children. We have 3 children of our own, and 1 of his.
I will discuss the children in a later post.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
And Two Become One
We met in the fall of 1985. I was at the time dating Tony's 2nd cousin, this relationship only lasted about 2 months. Halloween was approaching, and Tony was planning a halloween party. My best friend was dating Tony's cousin, and we all run around together. It was the weekend and I was working. Melissa and Rob (BF) picked me up aff work that day. They asked me if I wanted to go to Tony's party that night. They also said if I didn't go, Tony was calling the party off. I went home and changed clothes, and went. I really didn't know where this was going to go.
We started dating that night. Tony was pretty well drunk when we got there. Tony never asked me how old I was, he just assumed I was older. He asked me several times that night if I wanted to get married, I told him each time we had to ask my dad. The next morning when he was sober, I asked him if he remembered what he ask the night before. He said yeah, why do we have to ask your dad? I said because I'm only 16, I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
I can't say my parents were excited about it. We dated for almost a year, and officailly became engaged in July 1986. We bought a house, and moved in together the next month. We decided to start our family because of Tony pushing 30. I got pregnant in Oct and we were married in Jan 1987. A lot of the struggles newly married people go through we didn't. That's not to say we didn't struggle though.
We have struggled through alcoholism,drug addiction, abuse and an affair. I am by no means innocent. More than once have we had the police at our door. Our marriage was based on sex. Sex was the best part of our marriage.
We have 3 children together. Our oldest was born 6 months after we got married, the next was born 15 1/2 months later, the last one 2 1/2 years later. We have 1 son and 2 daughters, and as you read about Tony he has 1 son. We have also been blessed with 3 beautiful grandsons.
We were seperated once for 10 months. Tony's drinking wasn't getting better, and he had started using crack. I gave him 3 years to stop, and he continued. During our seperation Tony was in a bad accident. We reconciled shortly after his accident. Things were good for about a month. Then he was right back to partying again. Just prior to our seperation I got involved in an affair. I am by no means proud of myself, and there was no excuse for it.
Deep down I knew I had to make amends, and work to keep my marriage. The Bible says "Bring up a child in the way they are to go, and when they are old they will not depart from it." Yes we continue to struggle. We are going to church and have been for 7 years now. Our marriage is getting better. We have put God at the center of it.
More in the next post.
We started dating that night. Tony was pretty well drunk when we got there. Tony never asked me how old I was, he just assumed I was older. He asked me several times that night if I wanted to get married, I told him each time we had to ask my dad. The next morning when he was sober, I asked him if he remembered what he ask the night before. He said yeah, why do we have to ask your dad? I said because I'm only 16, I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
I can't say my parents were excited about it. We dated for almost a year, and officailly became engaged in July 1986. We bought a house, and moved in together the next month. We decided to start our family because of Tony pushing 30. I got pregnant in Oct and we were married in Jan 1987. A lot of the struggles newly married people go through we didn't. That's not to say we didn't struggle though.
We have struggled through alcoholism,drug addiction, abuse and an affair. I am by no means innocent. More than once have we had the police at our door. Our marriage was based on sex. Sex was the best part of our marriage.
We have 3 children together. Our oldest was born 6 months after we got married, the next was born 15 1/2 months later, the last one 2 1/2 years later. We have 1 son and 2 daughters, and as you read about Tony he has 1 son. We have also been blessed with 3 beautiful grandsons.
We were seperated once for 10 months. Tony's drinking wasn't getting better, and he had started using crack. I gave him 3 years to stop, and he continued. During our seperation Tony was in a bad accident. We reconciled shortly after his accident. Things were good for about a month. Then he was right back to partying again. Just prior to our seperation I got involved in an affair. I am by no means proud of myself, and there was no excuse for it.
Deep down I knew I had to make amends, and work to keep my marriage. The Bible says "Bring up a child in the way they are to go, and when they are old they will not depart from it." Yes we continue to struggle. We are going to church and have been for 7 years now. Our marriage is getting better. We have put God at the center of it.
More in the next post.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Wife, Mom, Woman
This post will be a my life story. Yes I could create a book about my life, but I'm just going to touch on the high points. My father is the baby of his family, and my mother is next to the baby. That means I was only a first for my parents,and the first grand-daughter for my foster grandparents.
My parents were high sweethearts. They married shortly after my father graduated, in 1967. At that time guys had to be 21 and girls 18. Dad had to have his parents sign for him to marry.
I was born 2 years later in august 1969,right in the middle of the Vietnam war. Dad was drafted, however do to elevated blood sugar was sent home. Since I was their first, there was a lot to learn. Like how to tell if you are in labor. When mom went into labor, she woke dad. Well guess what it's grandma's birthday. He drives to grandmas house at 4 am, not sure if mom is really in labor, and he had to give grandma her birthday present. After an hour, mom told him, if you are going to wake your mom you need to be doing it, my contractions are 5 mins apart. So he went in and woke grandma, and told her Shirley thinks she is in labor. Grandma ask how far apart are the contractions, he said 5 mins. Boy was grandma mad. She said get that girl to the hospital I don't want no baby born here. Dad said well I wanted to give you your birthday present. She said you are and if you don't hurry it's going to be in my kitchen.
So, off to the hospital, where they stopped moms contractions. They had a woman in labor that had already loss 2 baby during birth. That was ok, a few hours later I was born. Let me say up to this day, dad did not care what the baby was named. His only demand was that it could not be named after him, I was suppose to be Roberta Sue. So, now the story of how I got my name. Since Roberta was out, mom's next name was Kimberly. My foster grandmother wanted her to name me Susie, thank goodness my mom knew how to say no. Mom said I will give her middle name Sue. Ok so, I'm Kimberly Sue right, no. Since I was born on my father's mothers birthday he decided he wanted in on the name. He told mom he wanted grandmas name included. There was no way to work Margaret into my name, so I got grandmas middle name, which by the way is an Indian name. I became Kimberly Leota Sue. I have an Indian name to go with my heritage,a family name and 2 middle names like royalty.
Now, my dad had no boys, he was graced with 3 daughters. I became his "son". I was not allowed in dresses except for pictures and sunday church. I was in the garage with him all the time, working on cars. When I was 3 I knew every tool in his tool box.
1 week before my first birthday I got a sister. Again dad didn't care what the name was except she had to have 2 middle names, as you can see at this rate they were going to run out of names. My sister came home from the hospital on my birthday. I was sleeping at grandma's when they came in. I was excited but jealous. I would take her bottle, see mom had me potty trained and bottle broke before she was born. My new sisters name was Kendra Gretchen Renee.
My parents divorced in 1972. For a number of years it was mom and us girls. Then she met her 2nd husband. They were married in 1975, and had my brother in 1976. He was born the day after my 7th birthday. He was named after my step dad, no 2 middle names. His name is Donald Eugene 2. I had a real live baby doll, or so I thought. I have always been fiercly protective of him. During this time my dad was married twice. The first only lasted 6 months. The 2nd lasted about 10 years, and they had a daughter. This time dad was a little more involved in the naming. My baby sisters was named Christina Robin Joann. I was 5 1/2 when she was born, and I became a little mom. They decided it was useless to try and keep me from her. I rocked her, feed her, changed her. When she was a couple weeks old my mother invited dad and his wife in, so she could see the baby. Mom just about had a heart attack when I came walking in with her. Mom said you let her carry the baby, dad said try to stop her.
That was my early years, I grew up. I was a good student, made good grades. Then I became a teenager. At 13 I was madly in love with the pastor's son, who barely knew I was alive. At 14 I dated a guy that was 23. No mom was not excited. The summer between my freshman and sophmore year I moved in with Dad. I started hanging out with the wrong people. Started doing to wrong things. I met my husband during this time. He was probably not the best choice for me, but it turned my world around.
My biggest influence I had was my foster grandfather. He was a minster for years, however he had a stroke 2 years before I was born. I never got to hear him preach from the pulpit. I did hear a lot of sermons in his front room.
Now at age 43 I have 3 grown children, a grown step son, and 3 grandsons. I'm still married to my first true love. We have returned to church, and I'm trying to become a Godly wife. This has been a struggle for me. You will see why, when I post about my marriage. I thank God everyday for our dysfunctional family.
My parents were high sweethearts. They married shortly after my father graduated, in 1967. At that time guys had to be 21 and girls 18. Dad had to have his parents sign for him to marry.
I was born 2 years later in august 1969,right in the middle of the Vietnam war. Dad was drafted, however do to elevated blood sugar was sent home. Since I was their first, there was a lot to learn. Like how to tell if you are in labor. When mom went into labor, she woke dad. Well guess what it's grandma's birthday. He drives to grandmas house at 4 am, not sure if mom is really in labor, and he had to give grandma her birthday present. After an hour, mom told him, if you are going to wake your mom you need to be doing it, my contractions are 5 mins apart. So he went in and woke grandma, and told her Shirley thinks she is in labor. Grandma ask how far apart are the contractions, he said 5 mins. Boy was grandma mad. She said get that girl to the hospital I don't want no baby born here. Dad said well I wanted to give you your birthday present. She said you are and if you don't hurry it's going to be in my kitchen.
So, off to the hospital, where they stopped moms contractions. They had a woman in labor that had already loss 2 baby during birth. That was ok, a few hours later I was born. Let me say up to this day, dad did not care what the baby was named. His only demand was that it could not be named after him, I was suppose to be Roberta Sue. So, now the story of how I got my name. Since Roberta was out, mom's next name was Kimberly. My foster grandmother wanted her to name me Susie, thank goodness my mom knew how to say no. Mom said I will give her middle name Sue. Ok so, I'm Kimberly Sue right, no. Since I was born on my father's mothers birthday he decided he wanted in on the name. He told mom he wanted grandmas name included. There was no way to work Margaret into my name, so I got grandmas middle name, which by the way is an Indian name. I became Kimberly Leota Sue. I have an Indian name to go with my heritage,a family name and 2 middle names like royalty.
Now, my dad had no boys, he was graced with 3 daughters. I became his "son". I was not allowed in dresses except for pictures and sunday church. I was in the garage with him all the time, working on cars. When I was 3 I knew every tool in his tool box.
1 week before my first birthday I got a sister. Again dad didn't care what the name was except she had to have 2 middle names, as you can see at this rate they were going to run out of names. My sister came home from the hospital on my birthday. I was sleeping at grandma's when they came in. I was excited but jealous. I would take her bottle, see mom had me potty trained and bottle broke before she was born. My new sisters name was Kendra Gretchen Renee.
My parents divorced in 1972. For a number of years it was mom and us girls. Then she met her 2nd husband. They were married in 1975, and had my brother in 1976. He was born the day after my 7th birthday. He was named after my step dad, no 2 middle names. His name is Donald Eugene 2. I had a real live baby doll, or so I thought. I have always been fiercly protective of him. During this time my dad was married twice. The first only lasted 6 months. The 2nd lasted about 10 years, and they had a daughter. This time dad was a little more involved in the naming. My baby sisters was named Christina Robin Joann. I was 5 1/2 when she was born, and I became a little mom. They decided it was useless to try and keep me from her. I rocked her, feed her, changed her. When she was a couple weeks old my mother invited dad and his wife in, so she could see the baby. Mom just about had a heart attack when I came walking in with her. Mom said you let her carry the baby, dad said try to stop her.
That was my early years, I grew up. I was a good student, made good grades. Then I became a teenager. At 13 I was madly in love with the pastor's son, who barely knew I was alive. At 14 I dated a guy that was 23. No mom was not excited. The summer between my freshman and sophmore year I moved in with Dad. I started hanging out with the wrong people. Started doing to wrong things. I met my husband during this time. He was probably not the best choice for me, but it turned my world around.
My biggest influence I had was my foster grandfather. He was a minster for years, however he had a stroke 2 years before I was born. I never got to hear him preach from the pulpit. I did hear a lot of sermons in his front room.
Now at age 43 I have 3 grown children, a grown step son, and 3 grandsons. I'm still married to my first true love. We have returned to church, and I'm trying to become a Godly wife. This has been a struggle for me. You will see why, when I post about my marriage. I thank God everyday for our dysfunctional family.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Super Bowl Sunday
I had planned to start this with a story about me. Today is super bowl Sunday, and after celebrating at church this morning I have decided to make this post about my hubby. Super bowl is mostly a guys day, not saying that women don't enjoy watching football. When I think about the super bowl I imagine men sitting around getting drunk and yelling at the TV.
So, about my husband Tony. He was born in 1959, and was raised in Mechancisburg Ohio. a very small town in central Ohio. His mother and father separated when he was 15. His father remarried, and mother never got over the divorce. He was the only child his mother had, and therefore she had never cut the cord. His mother died of lung cancer 5 years ago.
He married his first wife when he was 21, and his first son was born later that year. His first wife kicked him out on their first anniversary. He was single for 5 years. During that time he lived with his mother, was homeless, and lived with different family members. We met in 1985, boy does that sound like a long time ago.
I will talk about our meeting in my story. I will say there is 10 years difference.
Tony's dad had 3 girls besides Tony. He had one in high school, 2 after Tony. The oldest sister is 2 years older, she died unexpected. He has 2 younger sisters. Both of them still live in Ohio. The older of the 2 (Tiff) is only 2 years older than his oldest child. She was born while Bud (Dad) was still married to mom. The youngest (Nikki) is a year younger than Nick (oldest son). Tiff is single, doing every well. Nikki has been married and divorce, they have 1 child. She is dating a guy for the past several years. She recently started college, and works full-time. Not sure when she is studying or sleeping.
Tony is the head of this house, and in being so, has not always lead in the direction he wanted his family to go. Tony continues to struggle with alcohol, but I know my God is bigger, and someday this struggle will disappear. Because of the alcohol, Tony loses all control, and will follow the devil to hell and back. I continue to pray for him, and even though the struggle is there, it is better.
There will be a post on our marriage. At that time I will go more in depth of our struggles.
So, about my husband Tony. He was born in 1959, and was raised in Mechancisburg Ohio. a very small town in central Ohio. His mother and father separated when he was 15. His father remarried, and mother never got over the divorce. He was the only child his mother had, and therefore she had never cut the cord. His mother died of lung cancer 5 years ago.
He married his first wife when he was 21, and his first son was born later that year. His first wife kicked him out on their first anniversary. He was single for 5 years. During that time he lived with his mother, was homeless, and lived with different family members. We met in 1985, boy does that sound like a long time ago.
I will talk about our meeting in my story. I will say there is 10 years difference.
Tony's dad had 3 girls besides Tony. He had one in high school, 2 after Tony. The oldest sister is 2 years older, she died unexpected. He has 2 younger sisters. Both of them still live in Ohio. The older of the 2 (Tiff) is only 2 years older than his oldest child. She was born while Bud (Dad) was still married to mom. The youngest (Nikki) is a year younger than Nick (oldest son). Tiff is single, doing every well. Nikki has been married and divorce, they have 1 child. She is dating a guy for the past several years. She recently started college, and works full-time. Not sure when she is studying or sleeping.
Tony is the head of this house, and in being so, has not always lead in the direction he wanted his family to go. Tony continues to struggle with alcohol, but I know my God is bigger, and someday this struggle will disappear. Because of the alcohol, Tony loses all control, and will follow the devil to hell and back. I continue to pray for him, and even though the struggle is there, it is better.
There will be a post on our marriage. At that time I will go more in depth of our struggles.
This is Tony with one of our grandsons.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
The Love Month
This blog will be about life love and marriage. Real life, not a fairy tale. Unlike a lot of blogs each post will not be thought out. As I write I will allow God to direct me. I will choose that day what I want to write about then let the words flow.
What I'm not, I'm not a writer, professional, or an expert. What I am, is a God loving,fearing wife, who has been married to the same man for 26 years, a mother of 4 grown children, a nurse with 20+ years experience in many different areas. I will be blogging from personal experiences. Some from my own marriage and family, some from things I've observed, as a nurse, daughter, sister, and grandchild.
I am by no means saying I have a perfect marriage or family. I fact I start each day with a prayer, that starts with Thank you God for my dysfunctional family, that works for us. Anyone who thinks they have the perfect marriage or family is fooling themselves, or trying to hide something. We are all imperfect,dysfunctional people. Some more than others. Some of us need help to function in society, remember that God provided the people to help.
As imperfect and dysfunctional as we all are, God puts people in our lives to equal things out. As I introduce each of my family members, this will become clear. My first series on this blog will be a post on each person in my family. Don't worry it won't be boring, and some families will be group together. Some will be a single person, such as me, my hubby, and children, however to accurately portray people like my grandparents they must be group together.
I will be adding other blogs that fall in line with mine. I have been doing research of other blogs. I feel as the divorce rate increases, we need as much help as we can find. We also have a younger generation that believes we don't need marriage, or should open it to everyone.
This is just a glimpse into what you will find here, as this blog grows. Just so you understand I may fall off the subject from time to time. This blog is lead by God.
Besides February being the love month, there are a couple other things included in February. First of all February is heart health month. In support of this, we wore red yesterday at work. Anything medical I try to support, most with my deeds. I have one charity that I support financially, and that is breast cancer. I don't know why, as I have never had breast cancer nor has anyone in my family. Also February 2nd is groundhog day. This year he didn't see his shadow,however as a post on facebook said. He is a rodent not a weatherman.
Well this is the end of this post. Next post, more about me the author.
What I'm not, I'm not a writer, professional, or an expert. What I am, is a God loving,fearing wife, who has been married to the same man for 26 years, a mother of 4 grown children, a nurse with 20+ years experience in many different areas. I will be blogging from personal experiences. Some from my own marriage and family, some from things I've observed, as a nurse, daughter, sister, and grandchild.
I am by no means saying I have a perfect marriage or family. I fact I start each day with a prayer, that starts with Thank you God for my dysfunctional family, that works for us. Anyone who thinks they have the perfect marriage or family is fooling themselves, or trying to hide something. We are all imperfect,dysfunctional people. Some more than others. Some of us need help to function in society, remember that God provided the people to help.
As imperfect and dysfunctional as we all are, God puts people in our lives to equal things out. As I introduce each of my family members, this will become clear. My first series on this blog will be a post on each person in my family. Don't worry it won't be boring, and some families will be group together. Some will be a single person, such as me, my hubby, and children, however to accurately portray people like my grandparents they must be group together.
I will be adding other blogs that fall in line with mine. I have been doing research of other blogs. I feel as the divorce rate increases, we need as much help as we can find. We also have a younger generation that believes we don't need marriage, or should open it to everyone.
This is just a glimpse into what you will find here, as this blog grows. Just so you understand I may fall off the subject from time to time. This blog is lead by God.
Besides February being the love month, there are a couple other things included in February. First of all February is heart health month. In support of this, we wore red yesterday at work. Anything medical I try to support, most with my deeds. I have one charity that I support financially, and that is breast cancer. I don't know why, as I have never had breast cancer nor has anyone in my family. Also February 2nd is groundhog day. This year he didn't see his shadow,however as a post on facebook said. He is a rodent not a weatherman.
Well this is the end of this post. Next post, more about me the author.
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