We met in the fall of 1985. I was at the time dating Tony's 2nd cousin, this relationship only lasted about 2 months. Halloween was approaching, and Tony was planning a halloween party. My best friend was dating Tony's cousin, and we all run around together. It was the weekend and I was working. Melissa and Rob (BF) picked me up aff work that day. They asked me if I wanted to go to Tony's party that night. They also said if I didn't go, Tony was calling the party off. I went home and changed clothes, and went. I really didn't know where this was going to go.
We started dating that night. Tony was pretty well drunk when we got there. Tony never asked me how old I was, he just assumed I was older. He asked me several times that night if I wanted to get married, I told him each time we had to ask my dad. The next morning when he was sober, I asked him if he remembered what he ask the night before. He said yeah, why do we have to ask your dad? I said because I'm only 16, I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
I can't say my parents were excited about it. We dated for almost a year, and officailly became engaged in July 1986. We bought a house, and moved in together the next month. We decided to start our family because of Tony pushing 30. I got pregnant in Oct and we were married in Jan 1987. A lot of the struggles newly married people go through we didn't. That's not to say we didn't struggle though.
We have struggled through alcoholism,drug addiction, abuse and an affair. I am by no means innocent. More than once have we had the police at our door. Our marriage was based on sex. Sex was the best part of our marriage.
We have 3 children together. Our oldest was born 6 months after we got married, the next was born 15 1/2 months later, the last one 2 1/2 years later. We have 1 son and 2 daughters, and as you read about Tony he has 1 son. We have also been blessed with 3 beautiful grandsons.
We were seperated once for 10 months. Tony's drinking wasn't getting better, and he had started using crack. I gave him 3 years to stop, and he continued. During our seperation Tony was in a bad accident. We reconciled shortly after his accident. Things were good for about a month. Then he was right back to partying again. Just prior to our seperation I got involved in an affair. I am by no means proud of myself, and there was no excuse for it.
Deep down I knew I had to make amends, and work to keep my marriage. The Bible says "Bring up a child in the way they are to go, and when they are old they will not depart from it." Yes we continue to struggle. We are going to church and have been for 7 years now. Our marriage is getting better. We have put God at the center of it.
More in the next post.
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